I was on the Internet Today

I was on the Internet Today.  Here’s the Long and Short of it.

I was on the Internet Today

I have discovered a way to become slightly annoyed while becoming sleepy at the same time, all within a few seconds. Look at a LinkedIn feed. Never fails.

Opened up the Product Hunt app only to realize, I don’t need an emoji generator, an app to uninstall my apps, a virtual checklist for my to-do list, or alerts to keep me focused on important tasks. Thanks, but no thanks.

Tai Lopez wants me to help him rent another mansion, I mean, he wants me to read more books.

I now have a better understanding on why I should have been on Snapchat two years ago, but it’s only for teenagers today.

I came across a few Listicles by Larry Kim. Now I know:

  1. 3 ridiculously easy methods to improve my Google search ranking.
  2. 4 incredibly simple tactics to improve my Google search ranking.
  3. 5 immensely effective maneuvers to improve my Google search ranking.

Photo by Sergi Kabrera on Unsplash

Thanks guy.  And here I was, over on Yahoo searching how to improve my Alta Vista rankings.  Ya, I’m in real smart ass mode, now.

I saw a bunch of random dudes on You Tube selling sales funnels, during pre rolls.  No click funnel for me, but thanks.

Then I saw some pre rolls with some different dudes, telling the world they can help people get rich.. By dropshipping coffee mugs from China. Unreal..

If this wasn’t enough.

Seth Godin made me question my Purple Cow.

Yoast plugin told me there’s a problem with my SEO. Never mind what that problem is, or where to find it.  There’s a problem though. Even when I hit the “eyeball”, we can’t figure this one out.  

Hats Banner

I got an offer to deliver me an $8 burrito plus a $12 delivery charge.

Evan Spiegel is still a billionaire, just not as much of a billionaire as he once was. He might not be a billionaire forever, as well. Ok, I’m glued to my phone waiting for the next financial briefing on the Snap Inc. CEO

While, on the Snapchat and Evan Spiegel subject, I read he might have been better off taking Zuckerberg’s $3 billion offer. Right, because we haven’t experienced enough of an internet dominated by Facebook yet. We can only dream of what a Snap acquisition might have looked like.

Along with that pivotal tidbit of information, peppered with my opinion, I also understand why Vine collapsed.

On that note, glad to hear Dom Hoffman announcing the Byte app will be released in 2019.  Hey Vine fans, ever heard of Oevo?

Then, Shit got Real.

On Instagram, I had several people tell me, I too can be an entrepreneur if I sell some cleansing tea. No, no thank you. I’ll go down the route of forming my own LLC and such. Keep me updated on things, though.

Oh, and then I received an urgent weather alert. There may be a few snow showers. The event starts in 23 minutes, and will last for 18 minutes. Well thanks for the notification Weather Channel, however I prefer the cursing and anger coming the WTForecast App.

Gary Vaynerchuk told me to go Crush It. On it, bro, 18 hours at a time!

Beer of the Month Club

Found out that Twitter has, what some call, “a troll problem”. I know, right. Who knew?

If that blindsided me, you can imagine my reaction, when I read that Bing and Yahoo get nowhere near the same amount of searches as Google.

Oh, and just when I wanted to anoint myself as the Periscope Expert, I found none other than the Instagram expert herself, Sue B Zimmerman over on Periscope. Woah conflict of interest I thought. She was talking about hashtags and making sure you post content regularly, on Instagram, so I guess she gets a pass. #hashtagculture

If that doesn’t blow your mind.

It occurred to me AOL still exists.

Facebook had another issue exposed with data misuse.

I came across the name Andrew Kemendo, the guy from Planet of the Apps. You know, the ‘I rarely get to see my kids. That’s a risk you have to take’ guy.  The promo that Apple pulled after being scorched on social media. Ya know, cause it took random tweets from strangers for someone at Apple to determine how warped and mentally unhealthy startup culture has become.

I know that MySpace Tom is wealthy and posting pictures on social media.

Ooops, just clicked the Product Hunt app again. Sorry, I still don’t need another way to organize my bookmarks, I’m getting by just fine. I also don’t need a new and exciting meme maker, an idea generator, or to auto incorporate feature for Slack into a Facebook Ad while running off Instagram’s API. I’m good, thanks.

There’s an update for my iphone.

I heard about this whole “23 year old wants to be a life coach” thing. Then I saw one vlogging.

The issue of gender neutral gingerbread people has been discussed on Twitter today. Not trending yet, but we’ll keep an eye on the issue.

Just saw another Tai Lopez clip.  Posing the “is Tai Lopez a scam?” question, following with testimonials from people stating how much money they are making using his program. Ya, if you have to tell people how much of a scam you aren’t..

It’s been reinforced that most startups fail. I wrote that down already, but never can read it to much.

Godiva Truffle Flight Banner

The Yoast SEO plugin is alerting me again. How’s this, for a passive sentence? I kind of, sort of, maybe, ain’t gonna fix the issue, that apparently doesn’t really exist. Green light, Yellow Light, Red Light, I don’t have all week. I’m hitting post, regardless.

WordPress sites are infected with malware and they are attacking other WordPress sites and we’re all screwed.

On Instagram, several people followed me yesterday, only to unfollow me today. So, not a great trust building strategy but hey to each their own.

Donald Trump tweeted.

How much more can I take?

Watched a YouTube video where a kid told me I can make 12 grand in an hour using a ‘proven strategy’. He demonstrated an affiliate marketing technique incorporated into some Facebook ads. When I say kid, I’m not sure he was old enough to drive.

However, he was about to make five figures in the next 60 minutes. Assuming Facebook doesn’t actually enforce their stance against ads run directly with this particular affiliate program. But hey, since when has Facebook really enforced any policy on a consistent basis.

The Crypto market is still crashing.

I found myself going down a rabbit hole on Medium. Not just any rabbit hole though. The startup post mortem rabbit hole.  The “We’re sad to say we’re shutting this startup down, but look forward to focusing our efforts elsewhere” type rabbit hole. Sometimes referred to as the “we ran out of funding options” rabbit hole.

I saw how much bitcoin would have been worth if I had bought it in 2009 and sold it at its peak in 2017. Love those could of, should of, would of scenarios. Had I been able to see past the whole “primarily used on the dark web” thing, yes I’d have made myself extra money.  Coinbase wasn’t exactly a common app than either.

I was reading up on SEO, and I got dealt a bunch of fashion recommendations. What colored hats I should be wearing and all. White Hats are apparently in season right now.

Speaking of search engines, I have a question. Who at Google, names the algorithms? I much prefer Pandas and Penguins over Fred. Just saying, they were doing just fine on the name trail, they were on.

I’m giving Flipboard and Smart News apps a thumbs up! I think these apps are the type to condense news and information onto one platform without that platform being a social media site.  

I read how people were able to quit their jobs by blogging.

Read some other articles by people who went broke blogging.

Came across Gary Vee again. You Tube video this time. Speaking in London about how great Facebook ads are. I lasted about 4 minutes. Simply can’t listen to anymore Facebook BS. I can barely look at the feed, let alone spend money advertising. Had enough for a lifetime!

And on that note, I think it’s time to put the phone down. Until next time, thanks for reading!